Lucy LaForge opens up about stigma and finding community
“Many bisexuals feel pushed out of both queer and straight spaces…I finally feel seen and accepted by myself after coming out. I wish everyone could feel that way.”
Bisexuality is both a widely talked about, yet erased identity. For Lucy LaForge, she knew she wasn’t straight but never heard the term ‘bisexual’ until she was a teenager.
“…I didn’t actually know bisexuality existed until high school,” she said. “It all clicked.”
LaForge dealt with coming to terms with her sexuality privately, struggling with many of the negative comments that people have to say about bisexual identities.
“Absolutely. I was extremely private about my dating life when it came to dating women,” she said. “I was terrified that people would think I just wanted attention, or call it a phase — which they did, and still do, but who cares?! I’m so much happier!”
After coming out to a pair of close friends in 2013, who also identified as bi, she waited another five years to officially out herself in 2018. Since coming out she says there’s an honesty in her songwriting.
“I’m not hiding or holding back anything,” said LaForge. “Music has always helped me feel free, but I’d catch myself talking to audiences at live shows and avoiding pronouns — as to not insinuate anything.”
While generally a quiet person, she said that her music allowed her to being expressive and loud. Writing about her experiences while coming out has had a healing effect on her and being able to have the honesty is reflected in her songwriting.
“Who I love affects my music because my songwriting often reflects my romantic relationships,” said LaForge. “The big messy feelings and the small sweet nothings are all a part of my music. And the audience is also affected – our incredibly kind and welcoming fans, are mostly LGBTQ+ identified and/or allies to the community as well.”
Bisexuality still carries a stigma around it but despite any misconceptions surrounding the sexuality, LaForge says she feels visible since coming out. Having a network and community to rely one, one that sends “memes and silly tumblr art” back and forth in DMs.
“Many bisexuals feel pushed out of both queer and straight spaces,” she said. “It’s incredibly important to lift each other up and validate each other. I feel that being open about my identity helps others feel like they’re seen. I finally feel seen and accepted by myself after coming out. I wish everyone could feel that way.”
LaForge puts her music where her values are, playing benefits and LGBTQ events, holding any bandmates to a high standard.
“I’m very particular about who plays on stage with me, since I mostly play benefit concerts and perform at Pride events,” she said. “It’s important that whoever is on stage with me is supportive not only of me and my identity, but also of the entire LGBTQ+ community as a whole.”
Describing her own sound as “hope-you-feel-better folk-pop”, LaForge says she is influenced by Kacey Musgraves, Wrabel, Elton John and her family. She also hopes to one day work with Sam Smith.
“But I’d probably cry the whole time,” said LaForge.
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25, according to their website. Click here to make a donation.